Skip to main content

Wigs and Things

"Well, these days they are doing all kinds of neat stuff with wigs and things."-my breast surgeon, on the day she told us that I have breast cancer; Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Stage II b, grade 3.

If it were up to me, I would open a cool little shop called "Wigs and Things", where other "cool" cancer patients like myself could shop for wigs in fun colors and styles, as well as other "things", like rockabilly hair turbans and beanie hats.

We would have take a break from wig shopping to rest our achy bodies at lace-covered tables adorned with daisies in little jars and help ourselves to lemon tea in pretty tea cups and warm, fresh from the oven ginger cookies on flowery china plates as Johnny Cash hummed in the background, forgetting all about the nausea and fatigue plauging us.

Yes, Wigs and Things is a magical place! Too bad it isn't real.

My experience thus far; not so magical.

The wigs I like are more like Halloween costume accessories than something edgy and "cool". The caps and turbans are mostly modeled on a person WITH hair.  And the rest are too, I don't know...cancery.

Yes, they are doing all kinds of neat stuff these days with wigs and things...



Sawyer and I nursing from my lumpy breast at the surgeon's office moments before it was biopsed. I was pretty sure I had cancer when this photo was taken, but was still hoping it might come back benign. Nope!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Professor Twatface And The Farmhouse

''There's nothing wrong with me getting a little drunk and looking on Match.Com just to see who's out there. I wasn't going to actually pursue anyone anyway, I am just curious for the the future . Besides, there aren't many attractive women around here, it is slim-pickings. You'll probably end up with someone great, like Professor Twatface. He will have some amazing vocabulary, and wear a cardigan with patches on the elbows, and Birkenstocks, and carry a satchel. I bet he'll even drive a Prius. You can wear your Birkenstocks together and sit around analyzing books .'' I have to hand it to my husband, he is brutally honest. While he calls my fictious future boyfriend Professor Twatface, I call his fictious future girlfriend Sally. Ironically enough, I, too, carry a sachel and have always wanted a cardigan with patches on the elbow, but I didn't remind him of that. ''I want it in our paperwork that ''Mommy's friend...
2 comments
Read more

Three Lies And A Truth

Hello, friends... I apologize my absence; I started my new job teaching 7th grade a couple of weeks ago, and this past Wednesday was the first day of school so life has been crazier than usual. A week before I stated my job, I asked my kind of/sort of ex-husband to leave our home. He stayed with friends for nearly a week before coming home. Why? Well, as you may recall he met someone nicknamed ''German'' when he went out the day until 4 a.m. the day after our divorce papers were filed. I asked him not to pursue her  or stay out past midnight while we were still married and living together, I told him it hurt me and made me very upset and I was worried about the stress of it all, coupled with going back to work, divorcing, moving, and raising the kids, would make my cancer come back. He looked me in the eyes and said, ''I understand. I won't''. Two days later on Friday he stayed out until 2:40 a.m. I thought surely he would not have seen her, I ...
2 comments
Read more

Conscious Uncoupling

If you're anything like me, you may be wondering what is conscious uncoupling is. When I first heard the term, I had absolutely no idea what it meant. Conscious uncoupling is pretty much a nice way of saying ''divorce''. It is widely associated with Gwenyth Paltrow and Chris Martin, as they used the term when they divorced. Apparently she talks about it a lot in her hippy-dippy lifestyle magazine, Goop , which I have never read. She gets a lot of slack for weird things in Goop , like recommending women insert yoni eggs into their nether-region and all other kinds of weird stuff. In her defense, I did give myself a few yoni steam baths with herbs and it did feel pretty nice pampering my special area. Although I did find myself giggling for months afterward every time I used oregano... Anyway, she may be a bit out there, but may actually be on to something with this whole conscious uncoupling thing. They basically have remained best friends, co-parent together, t...
Post a Comment
Read more