Wigs and Things

Today is better! As was yesterday! Firstly, I saw my therapist in the morning, who, when I told her about my ex's insensitivity about already staying out all night with another woman the day after we filed our divorce papers (insert salt-in-wound here), said simply, and I am paraphrasing here, ''Are you really surprised? After all, wasn't it his lack of empathy that brought you to this point in the first place? He can't help it, you know that. This is just who he is. He doesn't mean for it to be that way, but still, it hurts you. This is why it isn't working anymore.'' Pattern of behavior . In the clear light of day, I realized that. He genuinely is oblivious that doing such a thing would be hurtful to me, just as he was oblivious that all of the other things were hurtful to me, too. I have learned you cannot teach a person empathy, either it is something they possess or it is something they do not. Lastly, I arrived at the yoga studio at 6:1...

The last few days have been rough, friends... On Friday the lawyer finally got around to officially filing our divorce papers. So even though we aren't legally divorced until early-mid August, for all intents and purposes we are divorced. On Saturday, my ex went out. We had decided to start implementing the his Saturday/my Saturday now, so we are used to the routine when I move out. That was his Saturday. He went out from 6 p.m. to 4 a.m. He took an uber, wore his new shirt he bought earlier that day, new hair gel in his hair. He has never in the 12 years I have known him stayed out until 4 a.m., except for that time we were at a Full Moon Party in Koh Phangan in 2007. The early hours of the Full Moon Party Koh Phangan, Thailand, February 2007 At 2:45 a.m. I woke up to get my daughter water and saw he wasn't home. I called, and he didn't answer. I texted saying I was worried, and he replied saying he was on his way home. He didn't say where he was. At...

''The girl who had cancer, I really like her. She's pretty cool''. ''The girl who had cancer likes you, too'', I replied, overhearing a comment made by the friend of a friend at her 4th of July party yesterday. ''Oh my God, I am so sorry. I didn't know you were right there'', she responded. ''Sorry about what? The part where you said that you like me, or the part or where you said I was pretty cool? Or the cancer part? It's okay, I mean I did have cancer...''. It made me wonder how often I am privately referred to as ''The Girl Who Had Cancer.'' Like when I go into the diner, do they say, ''Oh yeah, she comes in all the time. She had cancer ''. Or at my kid's school, do they say, ''That's so-and so's mom. You know, the one who had cancer ''. I feel like a Scarlett letter has been placed upon me forever. My new job doesn't know that ...

Today has been good! Great, even. My daughter turns 6 on July 3rd. She has been a little firecracker ever since she was born. She loves dancing, singing, drawing pictures, catching frogs, gardening, playing with animals. She's perfect. What I love about her is that when I asked what she wants to do for her birthday, she replied, ''A picnic and a waterfall!''. So my kid... There's a waterfall we frequent near our house, next to that old cemetery she likes hanging around in. She likes reading the tomb stones and leaving flowers there. But I decided to take her somewhere we hadn't been before. I found the Cascade Nature Preserve in Atlanta, with easy hiking and a waterfall and cave, so we packed some snacks, I put the baby on my back, and off we went. I thought that maybe my impending divorce might have dampened the mood, but not in the slightest. In fact, I felt happy. Really happy. We had a great time splashing around and climbing on slippery ...

I signed my divorce papers today, agreeing that my marriage is ''irrevocably broken''. Next week we both sign the settlement papers, and then they file. It takes 31 days after that, so we are talking about early August. Our 11th wedding anniversary is on July 29th. We got married on 07-29-07. We had big plans for our 11th anniversary. This time last year, after I had to cancel the trip to New York/Iceland/England because I was on chemotherapy, we talked about what we do this year instead. Initially, I was going to have an Icelandic ring with the same inscription as my wedding band, ''Never Apart'', but in Icelandic. I picked it out and everything, it was simple and very Scandanavian-looking. I thought it would be cool to have a new one every ten years from a different place, with an inscription in that language. Then when I am an old lady, I have this amazing collection of rings with all of these wonderful stories to go along with them. Then I g...

Here's a tip: Don't clean out your closet after drawing up your divorce papers. Just...don't. Worst idea of my life. That was on Monday, today is Wednesday. My husband just left to pay the attorney and sign the paperwork...they are filing the papers today. Our divorce should go through around July 31st, a few days after our 11th wedding anniversary. That was the trigger, that was what got me on Monday; looking at the calendar and seeing that. Celebrating our 1st anniversary in the Cotswolds, U.K., July 2008 ''Most people would write on their anniversary cards, 'Thanks for 11 years. I can't wait for 11 more!' while ours will say, 'Thanks for 11 years. We've had a good run. Good luck!' ''. He can be really funny when he wants to be. Anyway, back to Monday. My phone was missing, as I tuck it away somewhere so the baby doesn't get to it. It was my brand new phone, too. I dropped my other one in the Etowah River a c...