Wigs and Things

Today has been good! Great, even. My daughter turns 6 on July 3rd. She has been a little firecracker ever since she was born. She loves dancing, singing, drawing pictures, catching frogs, gardening, playing with animals. She's perfect. What I love about her is that when I asked what she wants to do for her birthday, she replied, ''A picnic and a waterfall!''. So my kid... There's a waterfall we frequent near our house, next to that old cemetery she likes hanging around in. She likes reading the tomb stones and leaving flowers there. But I decided to take her somewhere we hadn't been before. I found the Cascade Nature Preserve in Atlanta, with easy hiking and a waterfall and cave, so we packed some snacks, I put the baby on my back, and off we went. I thought that maybe my impending divorce might have dampened the mood, but not in the slightest. In fact, I felt happy. Really happy. We had a great time splashing around and climbing on slippery

I signed my divorce papers today, agreeing that my marriage is ''irrevocably broken''. Next week we both sign the settlement papers, and then they file. It takes 31 days after that, so we are talking about early August. Our 11th wedding anniversary is on July 29th. We got married on 07-29-07. We had big plans for our 11th anniversary. This time last year, after I had to cancel the trip to New York/Iceland/England because I was on chemotherapy, we talked about what we do this year instead. Initially, I was going to have an Icelandic ring with the same inscription as my wedding band, ''Never Apart'', but in Icelandic. I picked it out and everything, it was simple and very Scandanavian-looking. I thought it would be cool to have a new one every ten years from a different place, with an inscription in that language. Then when I am an old lady, I have this amazing collection of rings with all of these wonderful stories to go along with them. Then I g

Here's a tip: Don't clean out your closet after drawing up your divorce papers. Just...don't. Worst idea of my life. That was on Monday, today is Wednesday. My husband just left to pay the attorney and sign the paperwork...they are filing the papers today. Our divorce should go through around July 31st, a few days after our 11th wedding anniversary. That was the trigger, that was what got me on Monday; looking at the calendar and seeing that. Celebrating our 1st anniversary in the Cotswolds, U.K., July 2008 ''Most people would write on their anniversary cards, 'Thanks for 11 years. I can't wait for 11 more!' while ours will say, 'Thanks for 11 years. We've had a good run. Good luck!' ''. He can be really funny when he wants to be. Anyway, back to Monday. My phone was missing, as I tuck it away somewhere so the baby doesn't get to it. It was my brand new phone, too. I dropped my other one in the Etowah River a c

First of all, thank you to everyone who replied with their own stories about conscious uncoupling, co-parenting and divorce. I have heard so many success stories, it has really made me feel confident in starting my new chapter. Secondly, a few people asked the question, ''Do you think it was cancer that caused your divorce?''. I haven't really addressed why I am getting divorced, because if my soon-to-be-ex-husband ever read it, he would think I was talking smack about him. The British are a very reserved people. To that end, no, cancer did not cause my divorce. Cancer merely opened my eyes to problems that were already there, way before my diagnosis. It is what my therapist likes to call a ''pattern of behavior''. I won't go in to the nitty-gritty of it all, but for instance, six months before my diagnosis I gave birth to my third child. He was due on October 10, 2016, and early on October 11th I was having contractions. My husban

I really love the idea of a handfasting. It's Celtic and Pagan in origin, and is an ancient marriage ceremony. Before they had churches, a couple would have a handfasting ceremony. That meant that different cords would be tied around their wrists, bounding them together. Kind of like the invisible red thread, only visible. That is where the expression ''tie the knot'' comes from...handfasting. For our 10th anniversary last summer, I had planned a handfasting for us in Iceland. I had the flights and air bnb apartment booked, and I was going to make the cords myself. We were going to do it down by the harbor, although I really preferred a lava field instead. Defunct lava fields are, evidently, surprisingly beautiful. However, it never happened. I was diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks later, and we had to cancel the trip. That brings me to Wildfire. I capitalized Wildfire because it's actually the name of a brilliant literary magazine. It is called W

If you're anything like me, you may be wondering what is conscious uncoupling is. When I first heard the term, I had absolutely no idea what it meant. Conscious uncoupling is pretty much a nice way of saying ''divorce''. It is widely associated with Gwenyth Paltrow and Chris Martin, as they used the term when they divorced. Apparently she talks about it a lot in her hippy-dippy lifestyle magazine, Goop , which I have never read. She gets a lot of slack for weird things in Goop , like recommending women insert yoni eggs into their nether-region and all other kinds of weird stuff. In her defense, I did give myself a few yoni steam baths with herbs and it did feel pretty nice pampering my special area. Although I did find myself giggling for months afterward every time I used oregano... Anyway, she may be a bit out there, but may actually be on to something with this whole conscious uncoupling thing. They basically have remained best friends, co-parent together, t

When you're married into an Irish/English family and your husband is straight-off-the-boat from England, you learn how to incorporate Brit slang into your life. Our children pronounce garage ''ga-rage'', my daughter says, ''plaaaaants'' when referring to plants (she loves gardening), the garbage pail is the ''bin'', dessert is ''pudding'', and when we go on vacation it's called a ''holiday''. That last one really seems non-sensical to me, because a holiday is a special day and a vacation is a vacation. They are two different animals. Nevertheless, since our children are being raised as Americans, we both agreed they would have British culture in their life, and their vocabulary is a way of doing that. Although I am still mystified as to why British people don't refrigerate eggs... Anyway, we have just returned from our beach holiday to the Gulf of Mexico in Florida. It was a 10 hour drive each

It was a blustery fall day in September, and I could feel the warmth of the sun on my skin as I looked longingly down at the gentle ripples of the lake, enveloped by tall Georgia pines swaying in perfect harmony with the wind, and birds effortlessly whirling through the bright blue sky. I envied their freedom. I was beginning to tire again; it was nearly time for my reprieve to end and to return back to the confines of my bed, with the sun constantly peering through the windows, taunting me. Never one to sleep during the day, I finally allowed myself to surrender to the utter exhaustion which had plagued me for months. It had been seven weeks since my last chemotherapy treatment, and two weeks since my bilateral mastectomy and free tram reconstruction. As I made my way up the stairs, I caught a glimpse of my birthday cards perched on the mantlepiece, the balloons slowly deflating. It had been such a privilege to turn 34, but I couldn’t help but wonder how many more birthdays I