Wigs and Things

During the course of my life, I have endured the stages of grief many a time. Enough to know how to recognize them when they hit me like ferocious waves. I have finally reached the acceptance stage. Acceptance of my breast cancer. Acceptance of never breastfeeding again. Acceptance of losing my breasts. My hair. Acceptance of the fear of recurrence stalking me like an invisible monster. And, finally... Acceptance of my divorce. One day it just hit me; calm. The sense of calm. I stopped crying everyday. I stopped feeling angry, hurt, resentful. I just let it all go, washed away with the waves. I honestly don't know how I came to this point, it just...happened. I just woke up and felt like this. Never in my life have felt more relief . I think a solidifying factor for me was the continued discussion of the house, when my children's father said about them possibly having to change schools if I cannot afford a house in this area: ''Well, it'

A reader of Wigs and Things who has been following my sordid tale said something interesting to me the other day regarding my divorce: '' Let go or be dragged. '' I read that remark in the morning on my way to work. When I arrived I had a meeting, in which the facilitator had a tattoo on her arm which said, ''Let it go''. After that I went to another meeting, and there was a poster on the wall which read, ''Yesterday was yesterday. Today is today. Let go.'' I think at the moment I am being dragged. My body feels exhausted. I have trouble sleeping. I have no appetite. I have knots in my stomach. My mind is weary and all over the place. Am I making a huge mistake? I have resorted back to my ''I hate cancer'' mentality. It ruined my life. Really, it did. I feel like I died on April 19, 2017. The day of my diagnosis. The person who I was died that day. I had never hyperventalated before then. I kind of

Hello, friends... I apologize my absence; I started my new job teaching 7th grade a couple of weeks ago, and this past Wednesday was the first day of school so life has been crazier than usual. A week before I stated my job, I asked my kind of/sort of ex-husband to leave our home. He stayed with friends for nearly a week before coming home. Why? Well, as you may recall he met someone nicknamed ''German'' when he went out the day until 4 a.m. the day after our divorce papers were filed. I asked him not to pursue her  or stay out past midnight while we were still married and living together, I told him it hurt me and made me very upset and I was worried about the stress of it all, coupled with going back to work, divorcing, moving, and raising the kids, would make my cancer come back. He looked me in the eyes and said, ''I understand. I won't''. Two days later on Friday he stayed out until 2:40 a.m. I thought surely he would not have seen her, I